The Early Signs of Mental Illness

To tell our story, I have to start at the beginning.

I was 18 years old when I had my son—just a baby myself, really. We grew up together. I wasn’t handed a parenting guidebook, though many times I felt like I needed one. I quickly learned I’d make mistakes along the way, stumbling through the early days of motherhood.

My son was like most babies—colicky, restless at night, and for the first few months, I experienced what felt like endless sleep deprivation. As he grew out of infancy and into his toddler and teenage years, his personality began to bloom. He was a quiet, gentle soul who loved arts and crafts, and eventually developed a deep love for reading. He’s what most would consider an introvert—shy around others, but once he opened up, he’d have the most intellectually profound conversations.

He tried different sports throughout middle and high school, but none of them stuck. He was always so indecisive about what he wanted to do, which made it hard for him to find a true passion. Funny story: In high school, my son won the award for “Most Indecisive”—a title I think he still proudly holds today! I did convince him to learn piano and violin for a while, but even that lost its appeal eventually.

Though he didn’t struggle academically in high school, he did struggle socially. In his sophomore year, I started noticing him becoming more withdrawn. He’d spend hours alone in his room. When I asked about his friends or going out, he simply said he didn’t want to. I rarely saw him invite anyone over.

I became concerned when his daily habits began to change—he started skipping meals, neglecting hygiene, and losing interest in things he once enjoyed. It was around then that I came to understand he was struggling with his identity. Knowing how confusing and overwhelming that can be at his age, I got him into therapy with both a psychiatrist and psychologist.

To Find A Physician Near Your:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Warning Signs of Mental Illness:

https://www.nami.org/about-mental-illness/warning-signs-and-symptoms/

Not long after, I was told he was suffering from depression and that medication could help. But my son, not wanting to be stigmatized for having a mental illness, refused medication—though he agreed to continue therapy. And for a while, it helped. He seemed to be doing better.

But I also knew something deeper was weighing on him: his lack of a relationship with his father. That’s still a touchy subject today. I could see the resentment and anger in him. A boy always needs his father. And although I tried to play both roles as best I could, there was a gap I simply couldn’t fill.

Now imagine this: a young boy, struggling with his identity and navigating life without a father figure—both of these worlds colliding all at once. It was too much for either of us to manage on our own. I felt helpless as a mother. But I gave him space and time. I believed that one day, he’d find his way, and I did everything I could to help him through it. And eventually, he did get better. Not completey better but better—he learned to cope with his feelings in healthier ways. His therapist used cognitive therapy to help him reframe negative thoughts and build emotional resilience.

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral

I began to see his old self reappear and his smiles and laughters eventually reappeared. Despite everything, he made it through high school with a few close friends and a whole lot of courage. He graduated with honors and was accepted into a strong academic college. I couldn’t have been prouder of him—going off to college and learning how to navigate life on his own.

There were bumps along the way, no doubt, but I always knew he’d make it. He’s resilient, smart, and just an all-around good human being.

The sky’s was the limit for him—I believe that’s how the saying goes!